I’m Not a Professional Blogger.

Nothing says Patriotism like a ton of cheese, carved into a rendition of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.  Especially with an ad for Cheez-It right on the front–I’m pretty sure that was one of the biggest contentions of the whole debate.  Jefferson was a Cheez-It guy, but Ben Franklin wanted Cheetos.  And John Hancock wanted one of those big tubs of cheeze balls from Sam’s Club.

If I’m reading this right, this 42-year-old single mother in Florida wants to find true love–as long as true love happens to be willing to pay $340,000 for her house in a crappy economy.  Which she would in theory be able to still live in, with true love. 

Oh, and give her $500,000 on top of it, to cover her “companionship”.  Because nothing says “True Love” like whoring yourself for a half million dollars.

Apparently she’s had more than 500 people contact her too, some saying she’s selling herself short.  No word on if one of those was Dennis Hof.

The smartest person in the article?  Her 14-year-old daughter, who realizes that this is just embarrasing.  Probably doesn’t help her life that people like me will blog about it, either.

 

So California decided to join the list of states (and countries) that are banning talking on cell phones without hands free devices–probably a positive move, given how stupid your average driver becomes when they are gabbing on the phone. 

And this is coming from someone who does occassionally talk on his phone while driving (in a state where it’s still legal), but usually just to tell someone I’m running late, or get directions–not to discuss what color shoe polish I’m planning on putting on the dog’s toenails that night, or any of a hundred other stimulating conversations I envision people having while driving down the road in the left lane going 47 MPH.

So why do I want to wall off California for this law?  Well, it’s not the law, so much as the response to it:

Rachel Kucsulain, 36, said she rides her bike to her job as an administrative assistant in Los Angeles and wants cell phones taken out of the hands of drivers.

“I’ve almost been hit multiple times. I think it’s totally a threat,” Kucsulain said. “Two blocks from here someone (on a cell phone) turned on me as I was crossing a crosswalk. They were only inches away from me. It’s just distracting.”

Ummm…were you walking your bike across said cross walk?  Or were you biking, in which case YOU were probably the one at fault?  Seriously, bikers who think that they deserve the benefits of the rules of the road AND the rules of walking are one of my (many) pet peeves.  Giving them a bump every now and again might be a good way to get them to wake the hell up.

But as bad as that is, that’s not the real reason I’m starting to think even more that California should be walled off:

 ”On the one hand I don’t want people crashing into each other, but I’m not going to go get an ear thing,” 38-year-old bank employee Jason Fischer said in Los Angeles. “I’ll give it up and then one day I’ll make a call and get a ticket. I don’t want a headset. I’m too lazy to get a headset.”

Too lazy?  To grab a $5-10 “ear thing” when you’re at Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, or one of the 100 other stores that sell them?  Or too lazy to dig the one that probably came with your damn phone out of the box?  Schmuck.

I’m sure there are plenty of great people in California too–maybe it’s just LA (and Hollywood with it) that need to be seperated from the rest of the country, so they can go on living in their own little world.

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