I’m Not a Professional Blogger.

It isn’t surprising any more when PETA makes stupid requests of companies and/or organizations.  In fact, it’s gotten to be so common, that apparently they have to now come up with requests so incredibly stupid that it’s almost unbelievable, just to get a little bit of media attention.  Ahh, the sad life of media whoring.

Their latest request is yet another case of PETA caring far more for animals lower on the food chain than they do about humans.  They want Ben & Jerry’s, the company with strange but good ice cream flavors and a reputation for being socially responsible, to stop using milk from cows.  And replace it with human breast milk.

Let me repeat that–they think Ben & Jerry’s should make ice cream from human breast milk.

Apparently, the fact that a Swiss restaurant will being to substitute breast milk for 75% of the cow’s milk he currently uses means that an American company that makes massive amounts of ice cream should too.

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

I’m not so sure they thought this one through.  If we started replacing cow’s milk with human breast milk across the country, this would not be good for dairy cows–it would mean we don’t need dairy cows.  So we would kill a lot of dairy cows.  And that would suck, because I don’t know that dairy cows make that great of a steak, so they’d pretty much go to waste.

Oh yeah, and there’s also no way in hell that there would be enough lactating women to supply the demand for ice cream.  Hell, we’d have to start breeding women just to produce milk, keep them in cages, and pump them full of hormones to produce more milk to try to keep up with demand.  And even then, ice cream would probably cost $25 a gallon or more.

But PETA would be happy, because we saved some cows.

Fortunately, Ben & Jerry’s declined the request.  Unfortunately, they did so in a civil manner:

“We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child,” said a spokesperson for Ben and Jerry’s.

Something along these lines would have been better, in our eyes:

“We laugh in the face PETA’s ridiculous approach to bringing attention to themselves, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.  Unless that mother & child are a part of PETA, in which case we think the child should be given up for adoption, so as to prevent the stupidity of the mother from possibly ruining another life that could be spent actually making a difference.”

I’m not sure who the bigger moron in this Raleigh, North Carolina household is–the 16-year old kid who dropped out of school to focus on Guitar Hero, or the parents for letting him do so because they “couldn’t take the complaining any more.”

“We couldn’t take the complaining anymore,” Peebles’ mother Hunter told the News & Observer. “He always told me he thought school was a waste of time.”

Oh, well, if he thinks that school is a waste of time, but playing video games is a good use of time, clearly he must be the one to trust on such a decision, right?  At least they are making sure he’s home schooled.

But hey, at least he’s won some chicken sandwiches with his “talent.”

And who knows, maybe some day he can learn how to actually play a real guitar.

Seriously–are kids today getting dumber?

I realize it isn’t really something to joke about–it’s good that the morons got caught.  But how they got caught is just amazingly stupid.

A pit bull named Booger… Cloned puppies… Mormon missionary sex slave… Miss Wyoming USA… Really bad fake identity…

I don’t even begin to know where to start with this one.  Go ahead and read it for yourself. At least she’s now admitting it (she originally said it wasn’t, and threatened to sue anyone who published that it was).

A man in Florida was recently arrested and charged with making false calls to 911–for reporting that a slot machine at the casino took his money.

Sadly, it wasn’t even the stupidist 911 call of the week–even in Florida.  One man was earlier cited for calling 911 a total of five times, trying to get the police to settle an argument with his brother. 

And probably the crowning moron called 911 to complain that his local Subway left the spicy sauce off his Italian sandwich.