I’m Not a Professional Blogger.

It isn’t surprising any more when PETA makes stupid requests of companies and/or organizations.  In fact, it’s gotten to be so common, that apparently they have to now come up with requests so incredibly stupid that it’s almost unbelievable, just to get a little bit of media attention.  Ahh, the sad life of media whoring.

Their latest request is yet another case of PETA caring far more for animals lower on the food chain than they do about humans.  They want Ben & Jerry’s, the company with strange but good ice cream flavors and a reputation for being socially responsible, to stop using milk from cows.  And replace it with human breast milk.

Let me repeat that–they think Ben & Jerry’s should make ice cream from human breast milk.

Apparently, the fact that a Swiss restaurant will being to substitute breast milk for 75% of the cow’s milk he currently uses means that an American company that makes massive amounts of ice cream should too.

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

I’m not so sure they thought this one through.  If we started replacing cow’s milk with human breast milk across the country, this would not be good for dairy cows–it would mean we don’t need dairy cows.  So we would kill a lot of dairy cows.  And that would suck, because I don’t know that dairy cows make that great of a steak, so they’d pretty much go to waste.

Oh yeah, and there’s also no way in hell that there would be enough lactating women to supply the demand for ice cream.  Hell, we’d have to start breeding women just to produce milk, keep them in cages, and pump them full of hormones to produce more milk to try to keep up with demand.  And even then, ice cream would probably cost $25 a gallon or more.

But PETA would be happy, because we saved some cows.

Fortunately, Ben & Jerry’s declined the request.  Unfortunately, they did so in a civil manner:

“We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child,” said a spokesperson for Ben and Jerry’s.

Something along these lines would have been better, in our eyes:

“We laugh in the face PETA’s ridiculous approach to bringing attention to themselves, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.  Unless that mother & child are a part of PETA, in which case we think the child should be given up for adoption, so as to prevent the stupidity of the mother from possibly ruining another life that could be spent actually making a difference.”